Posted: December 29, 2013 in Life, Wife, Women
Tags: , , , , ,

Hope-and-SkySo, I want to start with some facts, and then move to asking a very relevant question:

Before Marriage:

There are absolutely no social or legal requirements for a wife to prepare herself to be a wife before marriage. Most men would be delighted to find the following in a prospective lifelong female partner:

-Youth and beauty

-Virginity(intact hymen) and Chastity(not using the other holes as well)

-Modesty(she’s saving something to reveal only to her husband)

-Sweet disposition

-Femininity & Girlyness in all their forms

-Mothering skills

-Investment & Entrepreneurial skills

-A penchant for both Public & Private respect for the man

What would an honorable man do for a woman that possesses those qualities? ……Anything. Including working his fingers to the bone for her for the next 50 years. But alas….there is no requirement for these to be present before purchasing a funny-virgins-9marriage license. Now, the converse is also true for men….no prep necessary before getting married, yet when women are in their prime, they get the most offers. If a man isn’t prepared, he simply gets ignored, or possibly set up for a frivorce, because at the very least, sex is what we want. Not so for women.

During Marriage:

There is absolutely no legal or social requirement for a woman to behave like a wife during a marriage. There is no requirement for her to stay in shape, give her husband sex, respect him, or even honor the vows that she pledged at the wedding. There are also no penalties for her if she does not honor them. For men, there are also no social or legal requirements that he behave like a husband during the marriage. If she decides that he hit her, even if he didn’t, he can be arrested at her request, guilty or not.

Post Marriage/Divorce:

If they are to divorce, which they can decide to do at any time, for any reason at all, he must maintain the lifestyle for her that they had while together, by law. If they had children, the likelihood in a divorce is that he will have to give up his house, and divorcchild support that is based on his income and not what it actually takes to raise a child. In some states, there is a requirement for alimony for life. She also can get access to his pension, and have her alimony and child support orders reviewed every year. Even if he can prove unfaithfulness on her part, it doesn’t matter. Even if, in some states, he can prove by DNA that not all of the children are his, if she puts his name on the birth certificate, he still has to pay. And she can do all of this while having a new lover. The man can also have a new lover, but it will have no effect on his requirement to pay.

So, before, during, and after marriage, there is no requirement on either part for marriage preparation. There is no prohibition against verbal abuse during marriage, but there is one against physical abuse, with the benefit of the doubt always going to the woman. Post marriage, the man still has lifetime financial obligations, and more often than not, restricted access to his children.

To my knowledge, everything I have said is factual. So, here’s my question: What is a man that desires to get married, to base his decision on? Hope? What is the reality of Christian women & wives? What is the guarantee or proof that they believe what they say they believe? Hope? What if a man shows all the dominance he knows how to show, and his wife wants out anyway? What is he to present against that? Hope?

When men get married, are we supposed to hope that our wives stay in shape? Hope that they will be submissive? Hope that they will be respectful? Hope that we are not living with an Alpha Widow? Hope that we will have both regular sexual access & exclusive sexual access? Hope that she will not press the nuke button through Frivorce?

HOPPBecause legally and socially, we have responsibilities once we become husbands, regardless of her behavior. What are we to pin our futures on then?


  1. earl says:

    Based on the current setup…it has to be hope with some faith mixed in.

    • High hope, high faith, high risk….and the reward?

      I’m not disagreeing with you, just trying to be practical. My nature runs closer to the sure methods of sowing and reaping, so I’m trying to assess marriage in those terms.

      • earl says:

        In marriage…there might not be much of a reward other than you find the needle in the haystack, raise an intact family, have children that are productive members of society, and the two of you stay together until one of you dies.

        I’m talking about the current set up in general for all men in their particular state in life…without faith and hope things are going to be bleak. It’s no wonder suicides are becomming more common.

  2. Marlon says:

    Check lawyers re living trusts, personal corporations, asset relocation etc.

  3. […] blogger redpillsetsmefree has had some rather good articles: Hope is all men have for marriage. On “bitter men”. Why men are “bitter”. 15 years to […]

  4. Robert says:

    “There is no requirement for women to act like wives in a marriage.”.

    I can definitely attest to that. From the vantage point of over 20 years of marriage I would say that marriage in 21st Century America holds no value for most men: not loyalty, gratitude, or sex. My advice to most young men is to forego it.

  5. […] in other words, sex and hope. Which is another tacit admission that they really don’t believe that AWALT and they do […]

  6. Ergeniz says:

    Hope? Any man that enters into the marriage contract these days is a fool. And an arrogant one at that (“It won’t happen to me”…) I really don’t understand the mentality of men who continue to get married despite all the disadvantages it has? I’ve seen men get destroyed financially and emotionally in their first marriage and go right back to getting another.

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